It’s been five weeks since my hospitalization. And about two weeks since I’ve regained a sense of normalcy in my life. Walking around my house is no longer exhausting, and I’ve returned to work which, while tiring, has been mostly successful. I’m starting to feel like a real person again!
In the wake of my meningitis recovery, I’ve thought a lot about how I want to be shaping my life. And while I’ve made a lot of changes in the last year, there was one major aspect that I hadn’t tried to work on: my diet. And my health in general, really. Quitting drinking was healthy, but I was still eating microwave dinners and chips as meals. Not really living my best life.
And so, in my journey toward ideal living, I’ve taken a new step. Livin that healthy life.
I’ve never been a cook. In Thailand, I never once cooked dinner for myself. Unless you count putting water in instant noodles because I believe I did that once. In my life prior, I did a lot of frozen meals from Trader Joes. Since moving back to the States I’ve been eating frozen dinners, take out, and toast. Shocking that my immune system was low, eh?
A week or two ago I started a paleo diet. Which basically restricts eating anything you’d ever enjoy. And it was HARD. I hated it. So after a few days of that I decided to move onto a loosely paleo diet, AKA just eating whole foods. And let me tell you…I’m feeling amazing. I still don’t sleep super well and am generally pretty fatigued, but I’ve had more energy than usual and been in a better mood since switching up my diet. Not to mention feeling like a badass kitchen goddess these days.
I’ve also been incorporating some other lifestyle changes with the goal of overall improvement in my health. I’ve started my yoga routine again, which I am finally (mostly) strong enough for. I’ve incorporated some self-care rituals like facial treatments, massage, and meditation, and tried to stick to a nightly and morning routine of positive activities. I’ve been writing and reading and focusing on narrowing my hobbies to actual better my skills. (This year my focus is going to be on wood working). I’ve been cooking and meal planning which is absolutely unheard of in my life. I’m becoming a real adult!
It’s a lot of work. And at times the picture I have of who I want to be seems impossible to attain. But I am going to try. I’m pretty over being the person who masks her problems and distracts herself from the underlying issues. I’m getting alarmingly close to 30 and that seems like high time to do something about these things. I want to be healthy and I want to be productive and I’m ready to make that happen.
There are times when I worry I’ll miss my old life too much. Times when I wonder if I’m too young to be living such a “boring” life. No late nights, no wild parties, no crazy stories to tell. But then I remember what that life did to me for so long. It made me sick, depressed, anxious, unproductive. Yes, sometimes I feel a little lame for going to bed before 10. But then I wake up ready for a new day and I feel like it’s a worthwhile price to pay. I think I’m OK being a little boring right now.
Meningitis was scary this time around. Nothing like the first time, but still scary. The first time was a two month recovery with symptoms that lingered for years. This time was a one month recovery with no residual symptoms. What I feel I have learned from both of those experiences is that I am stronger than them. I am stronger than the things that threaten to crush me. I am stronger than mental illness, than physical illness, than fear. I am strong enough to live my best life. And that’s pretty empowering. So I’m gonna run with that feeling.
OH ALSO. I got a job as a video game tester for PlayStation and I start on the 26th. And I’m very excited about that.
That’s what’s new with me. Thank you to everyone who checked in on me, encouraged me, sent me gifts, and generally made me feel loved while meningitis was making me feel dead. I love you guys