On a year without alcohol

In early 2017, I had been living in Thailand for over a year. I was, by all outside accounts, living the dream. My carefree life involved weekend trips to other countries, gourmet Thai food for $2 a plate, afternoons spent at beautiful waterfalls, nights spent playing at bars with the band. I was living the … Continue reading On a year without alcohol

A Work in Progress

I always used to have a picture in my head of what my life would look like as an adult. I imagined it in vague detail, like a painting observed from far away. I'd be successful, I'd be happy. I'd have a pet and a husband or partner and a job I liked. I'd have … Continue reading A Work in Progress

11 months of normal

I was reflecting this week on the fact that it's been almost an entire year since I moved back to the States. Stability is hard for me; it always has been. Once I'm in a place for a few months I inevitably start thinking of where to go next. Even in places I've lived for … Continue reading 11 months of normal

6 months as a Californian

Last week marked six months of living in San Diego. It seems to have flown by. It's been almost ten months since I left Thailand, which is baffling. And somehow, it's been almost that long since I stopped drinking. My life is pretty routine these days. I wake up at 6 or 7, lay in … Continue reading 6 months as a Californian

Taking control and livin healthy

It's been five weeks since my hospitalization. And about two weeks since I've regained a sense of normalcy in my life. Walking around my house is no longer exhausting, and I've returned to work which, while tiring, has been mostly successful. I'm starting to feel like a real person again! In the wake of my … Continue reading Taking control and livin healthy

Meningitis Again

It seems like maybe this is turning into an every six weeks sort of blog. As I settle into the routine of living in the same city, I find I have fewer things to write about and often less motivation to write. But the last few weeks have been somewhat eventful, so here we are. … Continue reading Meningitis Again

Love and trauma

It's been a while since I've written anything. I am nothing if not consistently inconsistent. The past six weeks have been a challenging mix of highs and lows. Certain aspects of life here have gotten easier: I've found a routine, I've gotten involved in lots of activities, I've begun to build a solid life here. … Continue reading Love and trauma

How five months of sobriety has changed my life

When I was still living in Thailand, I had a talk with my therapist about what was going wrong in my life and what I wanted to change. Some of the biggest things were my anxiety and my love life. I have spent the bulk of my life semi-single. I'll go on a lot of … Continue reading How five months of sobriety has changed my life

Self-love and humility

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before the fall." You might not know this about me (though if you've seen my Instagram lately, or ever heard me list fun facts about myself, you might) but I was actually once the Bible quiz champion of Michigan. That's right. I got the ribbons and everything. … Continue reading Self-love and humility

The Next Right Thing

Living a good life is challenging. A life that's productive, positive, happy, and isn't hugely damaging to yourself or those around you... It's hard. And when you add in depression, anxiety, sickness, and sobriety on top of it all, it sometimes feels a lot harder. Depression kills my productivity. Sometimes I start thinking about having … Continue reading The Next Right Thing